


Alone in the World

by whoms_account_be_this



Category: Degrassi
Genre: Gen, gay male author
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 23:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8304941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoms_account_be_this/pseuds/whoms_account_be_this
Summary: The Story of Zig Novak as he falls into gang life and loses his family. Set between season 12 and 13.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is an experimental fic. I have the whole thing outlined, but not sure if I want to finish it. Like, I do, but I have a full plate right now! It is written to be "finished" as is, though I will likely add more.

**Alone in the World**

Most people think that the lessons that TV shows teach about drugs are fake. They are in some ways, but in others, they are true to the darkest extent. The common myth that you will certainly be bullied into taking free drugs at school is a lie. No one gives away drugs for free. The short life of addiction may or may not be true, but that wasn’t a relevant fact to Zig.

Drugs were everywhere. He lived in a bad part of town, and accepted that as fact, though most of his Degrassi schoolmates wouldn’t know. Drugs were everywhere. Drugs had to be distributed.

Life had already been going downhill for Zig Novak for quite a while. Ever since Cam died. Ever since he cheated on Tori for Maya. Ever since choosing Maya over Tori was all the proof that Maya needed that he wasn’t good enough or her.

Ever since he was chased by that gang.

That day would always be an unpleasant memory for him. The day when childhood’s veil was ripped from his eyes.

* * *

He walked down the street with his head hung low. School wasn’t really enjoyable for him anymore, not that he was a school lover in the first place. He wasn’t one of the smart kids, nor a stupid one. He was just average enough to find school bearable only with the help of his friends. He had no friends now.

Tori viewed him as a cheater – he couldn’t blame her – and Tristan was mad at him for her sake. Damon had moved to the bad part of town. And Maya, the loss who hurt most, wasn’t ready to be with him due to Cam…

Thoughts of Cam brought on another wave of sadness. They had never been friends, though they should have been closer. Alas, that line of thought only manifested in death. He could never make up for the things he said.

Zig sighed, looking up at the side walk. He hadn’t been watching where he was going.

_I wish I still had Damon_ , he thought. Damon had been his only friend not in the drama, even if he was annoyed that Zig preferred the dramatic friends over him. _It’s not my fault that one of the groups had girls I loved._

Damon was on the bad part of town, and barely talked to him at school. Zig chuckled to himself. Bad part of town? It wasn’t as if the part of town that he lived in was good. He could find drugs by asking the random woman walking next to him.

He reached a crosswalk and saw that the cars had just started moving. He’d be here for a full minute, at least.

It was a warm day in early May. Soon enough he would have to shrug off his jacket. _A month of school, then out for the summer._

“Hey, kid, you got any money?” a man asked.

Zig looked to him. He seemed to be in his early 20s, and stood with two other men the same age. Zig shook his head absently. _Of course I don’t have money,_ he thought bitterly. A wave of guilt flushed him. It wasn’t his mother’s fault.

He yelped as the man pushed him into the stop sign.

“Hey,” Zig said, locking eyes with the man. The man’s eyes were harsh, and Zig realized his mistake. He was in danger now.

“I said do you have any money,” the man growled.

Zig gulped, and surreptitiously looked at the crossing signal. This man was in a gang, almost definitely. Asking for money was their way of telling you that you would be buying drugs. Not answering was a slap in the face; nonverbal communication was a sign of disrespect.

Zig looked locked eyes with the man. “No, sorry,” he said plainly, not letting the man sense any fear.

He cried out as the man pushed him into the sign again.

“I don’t think you heard me,” the man said. His buddies walked up behind him.

“ _You may now_ \--”

Zig didn’t wait for the cross walk to finish its programmed speech as he took off. His heart beat wildly as he heard the men chasing after him, hollering profanities that would haunt him for a lifetime. He shrugged off the chill that threatened to climb up his back. He had more than his life to fear. ‘Fag’, ‘white boy’, and ‘poor shit’ were only some of the things that he heard, and all that he let himself remember.

He ran more quickly than he ever had before, and was thankful that he had left his skateboard at home that morning. He used his well-trained stamina and agility from a life of skateboarding as he dashed in and out between people on the side walk. Holding a skateboard would only have slowed him down.

He didn’t stop running as he reached the gates of Degrassi, keeping his speed until he was at the steps, taken three-by-three, until he was inside. He turned around to look out the glass doors, seeing the men off in the distance. They stopped at some point outside the gate.

His hands were shaking as he turned around. _I almost died, or worse,_ he thought as he headed for his locker. He struggled to breathe, and his mind was racing at a snail’s pace as he tried against his will to figure out the hundred and one things that could have happened to him.

The halls were half empty as he was ten minutes early. Being chased to school would be the thing to make him on time for once.

He reached his locker in a daze. His head was spinning, and for the life of him, he couldn’t remember his combination. He rested his head on his locker, the cool metal informing him of how hot his head was. He felt both on fire and chilled to the core.

Now that he was aware of his body, he felt a dampness in his pants and traces of fluid on his leg.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, blushing wildly at his own language as he looked to see if anyone was around. Seeing a mostly vacant hall, he felt his pants. Yeah, he had peed himself. It felt like just a trickle, but enough to be an annoyance.

He shook his head slowly in disbelieve. _This isn’t supposed to happen to me._ He gulped to stop tears from rolling down his face, though his sinuses were starting to clog. He needed to get somewhere private before he made a fool of himself. The bathroom would do. He needed to clean up anyway.

He passed Tori on the way to the bathroom, but avoided eye contact. He ignored her as she called his name. Did she want to talk to him, or did he look as messed up as he felt? It didn’t matter. She would make anything about her. She always did.

Zig pushed into the bathroom with a huff. He listened intently for any occupants before he walked over to the sink and looked into the mirror. When he saw his eyes shaking, he let the tears fall.

Fear, anger, remorse, love, everything. Every emotion he had ever felt rushed forward. His tears were for so much more than the threat on his life. This year had been hell.

He turned on the water and washed away his tears. He had given himself his chance to cry, but that was done. He cleared his nose into his hand and washed away the mucus, and then checked his eyes to make sure the tears were gone. He had to be strong. No one was there for him, so he had to be strong for himself.

He turned around and entered a stall, doing a casual glance to make sure it was relatively clean. He unbuttoned his jeans and lowered them to his ankles before peering into his underwear to find a portion of them damp, leading down to his left leg. Peeing himself hadn’t been his imagination.

He sighed as he reached over to the toilet paper dispenser and rolled out a handful before balling it up and dabbing at the wet spot in his underwear. He soaked up the dampness to the best of his ability. It wouldn’t be a pleasant day, but he would be able to make it through. He stroked a hand over his leg to find some pee coalesced in droplets in his leg hair. He mopped it up as best as he could.

Zig groaned as he reached down to his jeans to find that they were mostly dry, though enough liquid had soaked and dried into them that they did not smell the best. He sighed, realizing that he would have to do the laundry this week to prevent his mother from asking questions, though _why_ he wanted to do the laundry would be its own mystery. Hopefully no one smelled him in class today.

The first bell rang. He closed his eyes to calm himself, and then pulled his pants up. _Five minutes until class, better get going…_

The exit to the bathroom made his heart sputter. He didn’t want to step outside. It was as if the floor fell out from under him. Degrassi didn’t feel safe to him anymore. Alone in the bathroom was better than alone in the world.

* * *

On his way to school the next day, he saw the same guys at the crosswalk. He turned around without a second thought, ignoring his beating heart. School wasn’t worth it.

_It’s not like there is anything there for me anyway._

* * *

His mother didn’t buy his being sick for the next three days, but things were too busy at the store for her to complain much. It was a doubly fortunate thing. He got to stay home due to how busy she was and he had a good excuse to help with the laundry.

He was folding his family’s clothes in the living room when his mom came in to check his work. He looked up to her and felt something snap in his heart. The jumble of fear and a thousand and one emotions he couldn’t name waned, leaving only love.

“Mom,” he spoke. “I love you.”

She smiled and pat his head. “I love you too, my baby boy.”

He blushed, but couldn’t remove the smile from his face. It had been a while since he had heard those words, though he had himself to blame more than anything.

He felt a shiver crawl up his back as his mom left the room. The swarm of emotions returned to his heart. Those men were on his mind.

Not even his mother could make him feel safe for long.


End file.
